Many times over I've been just tempted to block you. Amputate your tumour inside of my mind. To sever the far from impeccable bond of friendship between us. Construct the Great Wall of China between us, never to be seen again. Escort every molecule of me two hundred miles away from you. After all, prevention is in fact better than cure.
Infatuation is a disease. It will degrade away slowly and steadily at your conscience, from humble beginnings of nibbles. You do not see the danger, so you feed it. Little by little you fade away, weakening. The worst part is that you do not realise it, the hardest part is that you do not realise you have to stop it. Nibbles turns to bites, bites turns to devours. And within a fraction of time, you realise that a part of you has passed and gone, never ever to return again.
You are fooled by the lie of pain. You are lied to by the deceit of hurt. You are deceived by the foolishness of suffering. Your mind learns to play tricks so well disguised that you do not even recognise it. You find yourself yearning for more, only to find that your satisfaction is only superficial. And yet in your mind you never actually stop trying. It is an addiction that can never leave your soul. It is an addiction that will never leave your soul.
And yet all I want to do is embrace you. To love you for who you truly are. To accept you for your imperfections, to live out eternity together. To withstand the test of time, to truly be a team so great that nothing stands in our way. To jovially enjoy the gleeful moments, and yet tenaciously endure the difficult ones. To support each other and to push one another to finish the race together.
But fear cripples me. The leap of faith is one meter too wide, one foot too impossible.
As oh so famously quoted by Nolan through DiCaprio, the most resilient parasite is an idea, but an idea is dead without emotion. So can emotion ceases to exist without the important jumpstart of will.
No comments:
Post a Comment